sooo that's what with "breaks"

I finally get it. A little over a year ago, the person I have been with for almost ten years informed me he wanted to take a "break" from our relationship. Of course, I was taken aback..."A what?...From whom?..." I didn't understand what it meant. But now I get it. It's not always about having your cake and eating it, too (yet another phrase I don't quite get...I mean, isn't having cake and eating it a good thing??). Sometimes it's about the need to know if what you have is all you are going to get. I'm not one to settle for things that don't make me happy...at least I thought I wasn't. Yet here I am, with my heart fighting with my head over a situation I should have let end years ago. So what is keeping me here? Maybe I'm just a dreamer, hoping one day he'll look at me and see himself through my eyes. Or maybe something less Dr. Philesque. Perhaps...Stability?... Stupidity?...Fear? Possibly a combo of all three? I mean, honestly, what girl doesn't want some type of stability in her life and life truly couldn't be experienced without some amount of stupidity being involved. Ah...and fear...the yin to my yang. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid from time to time. Spiders, as small and squishable as they may be, invoke levels of fear I never knew existed. I'm not, however, afraid of being alone. The fear I am talking about is much more than that. It's the fear of how my heart will take it if my head wins. It's the fear of never being able to trust or love or want again. Hearts are very delicate, you know. They just don't take defeat well at all. Perhaps it is my turn to ask for a much needed break...