Relationships...

i was talking to my mom one night...as i do every night...about the pressures of wanting and finding that one person who totally completes you. being that neither one of us actually has much knowledge in the area of love and happiness, we really couldn't come up with why some people seem to find their perfect match...or what they would consider to be there perfect match...while so many others tend to settle for relationships because the thought of being alone is extremely terrifying. "keesha," she said to me, as i had officially decided love just wasn't in the books for me, "some times you meet the person you're meant to be with when and where you least expect it...like a gas station or something. just have FAITH." FAITH. for such a small word, it provides a powerful punch. being me, i am no stranger to having FAITH. i leap on it constantly and know i will be held and guided to where i need to be. in all areas, that is, except my love life. no matter how hard i tried or wanted or needed to allow my FAITH to help me let go of the baggage...hell, who am i kidding?...matching suitcase, carry-on, and wardrobe bag worth of issues that i have held on to forever... in order find the person who would help me experience true HAPPINESS. i thought i had found him...but ten years later, i woke up and realized in order to experience HAPPINESS you actually have to be...well, HAPPY. that i wasn't. not until now... if i shared with you the story of how we met, you would think i was lying. i never was one for the whole "i knew he/she was the one from the moment i saw him/her" bullshit so many throw out to the oprahs and dr. phils of the world. that stuff never actually happens to us common folk any more than some poor, homeless working mother of five winning the lottery. but, still, the hope is always there. the moment i met him, i knew we would be connected for life. he is my mary poppins...the list i made, sang about, tore, and threw in the fireplace was recreated in the form of him. in his eyes i see my past, present, and future...and i am okay with that. more than okay...excited, even. every love song was written for him. i no longer hope to find my true soulmate...i know i already have. for the first time in 28...dare i say it, almost 29 years... i am convinced fairy tales weren't written just to peak the sense of hope in their readers, but to help us realize that having FAITH ultimately will lead to a happily ever after...