The PMSes

As with most females 12 and older, one week a month I suffer from the PMSes. It's not something that I am particularly proud of, nor do I enjoy feeling incredibly blah and out of control mixed together in one big pot of ickiness, but it isn't something I can control. Sometimes, though, it is beneficial to have your "monthly visitor" stir up emotions that otherwise would be sitting on the back burner. It's kind of a way of analyzing yourself...in an overly emotional way. Things that you never knew bothered you, like the softness of toilet paper, do this week. Things you never imagined eating, like mustard on pizza, tastes like ice cream this week only. But being that your hormones are a-raging at 100 miles an hour, you are prone to have changes in mood at a blink of an eye. At least that is my problem. Being that I am a Pisces/Middle child/Air Force kid, I am already prone to having intense bouts of antisocial-self pity parties, which I can often control and handle. However, when I have the PMSes, the parties seem to sneak up on me like a bottle of cheap tequila. This is never fun for those who are forced to be around me, especially my live-in boyfriend. Unfortunately for him, not only is he subject to sudden changes in my mood, but in my dog as well. Normally Dory Borealis is a spunky two year old, fiesty and ready to play. But not when momma's having the PMSes. She is mopey; laying near me, ready to lick my toes and give me warm, loyal kisses on the nose. She is also ready to pounce on anyone trying to crash in on our antisocial-self pitying party. I respect that in her. She's understanding of my emotions and my pain, something my boyfriend can't seem to handle during these times. I know that he doesn't understand the emotional roller coaster that I am riding on...in slow motion...over and over again, yet a part of me still gets aggrevated. I begin to see things differently during the PMSes. Example: although I know that I don't want to be married, and actually question the whole situation at times, I often find myself craving it. Just the thought of knowing that someone wants to be with you forever...or at least in theory...is something that everyone wants. I pride myself as being an independent women who can take care of herself, but every so often I find myself wondering into that girlie dream of finding my prince charming and living happily ever after. The PMSes do it to me every time...